One thing I battle with daily is anxiety. Anxiety can get in the way of numerous things, including being creative and productive in the arts. There are some days when the anxiety is so strong that it is difficult to even get out of bed that morning, let alone be able to paint, write, or create anything. There can be numerous causes for the anxiety, but for me in particular, I always ask the question, “Is my artwork and writing good enough?”

First and foremost, I know a few things realistically. The first thing is that nothing is ever perfect, no matter how much I want to be a perfectionist, period. Secondly, I know that there will always be artwork, or even pieces of artwork, that I will feel far exceed my talents and skills. The skill of a good artist is to know this, accept it, and still put out the best pieces one can. This does not mean the anxieties are not hiding in the background.

I know for me, I occasionally stop to ponder, “Is my work good enough?” I ask myself if I should even try, or if anyone will want to look at the works I create or read the words I put to paper. Is anything I have to say in my writing, paintings, and drawings worth the effort? The first reaction to these questions for a person with anxiety is doubt coupled with insecurities. The key is to take that doubt and those insecurities and use them as a stepping stone to creating works instead of dwelling on them. Dwelling on them won’t make great works, but a stepping stool allows us to reach greater heights. No, the anxieties, the insecurities, are never actually gone. Even with a confident facade, every artist has a lingering doubt somewhere that whispers to us in the back of the mind. Do we choose to believe that voice, or do we use it to make ourselves better?

For many years, my anxiety prevented me from painting or drawing. I even danced ballet, jazz, and modern dance once upon a time. I loved and enjoyed it, and still do to this day. Though I have nowhere near the skills to become a prima ballerina, not to mention several injuries that prevent me from ever pursuing that art form, I still enjoyed it. Dancing will never amount to the joy I feel in expressing myself through words or the visual arts.

I know, realistically, there is always a chance my love and hobby may never reach great heights. Instead of being discouraged and staying in a job that may exacerbate anxieties already hidden deep, I choose to continue creating art and writing to my heart’s content. If I am successful, it will be the icing on my cake. If I am not successful, then at least I can say I gave it my best effort and enjoyed the process.